20 Ways to Maintain Your Sanity:
01. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
02. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.
03.Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with that.
04. Put a garbage can on your desk and lable it "in",
05. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
06. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual
favors".
07. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy".
08 Dont use any punctuation marks
09. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go" or
"for here".
12. Sing along at the opera (or to the classical station
on your radio).
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play
a tape of jungle noises all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard Dick.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won,
I won, third time this week!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking
lot screaming "run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go".
20. Go insane.
